Monks giving out food to school kids at a celebration in honor of His Holiness

Kate Hoak Power asks: Who becomes a monk? Why? Can they see their families?

Good question, Kate! Every monk has a different story. I’ll post some of them eventually, but here are some answers to hold you over.

In olden days, there was a monk tax throughout much of Tibet. If more than one son was born into a family, one of the sons had to go to Lhasa and serve as a monk. This also happened on a more local level. A lama at your neighborhood monastery would show up when you had your second son and take the first one away from you.

In modern times, in most culturally Tibetan areas, monasticism is considered a noble pursuit. To dedicate your life to study, to religion, to helping the world community of practitioners of your faith is a very high calling indeed. In our terms, it’s kind of like being a doctor who does mostly pro bono work.

Monks gathering outside the temple before a big debate exam

But this is a pretty lofty explanation. In reality, a number of them were orphans that found a supportive environment in the monastery. A few of them were troubled and had nowhere else to turn.

One geshé told me that His Holiness keeps his eye on students who are doing very well in school and eventually invites them to become monks.

In many cases an older relative, often an uncle, was a monk or otherwise very religious and insisted or suggested that a next generation male in the family continue the tradition

It’s very rare that a monk is older than 10 when he starts his monastic career. I’ve met some, but very few. I’ll have to ask some of these young monks Kate’s question. Check back later for that.

As for seeing their families, there are lots of different situations. Some come from places in Tibet where they can’t go because of visa troubles, and their families can’t leave for fear of not being able to come back. Others have families just a few miles away. And everything in between. The average answer is that their families come to see them here once every two years.

On the whole they’re very interesting and very normal people, with great senses of humor. Sometimes I have to remind myself that they’ve never had a girlfriend, (probably) never gotten drunk, never watched The Real Housewives of Orange County, etc.