The death rituals continue for the man who died in the village. Meanwhile, my wife Erin called to tell me that one of our friends died in San Francisco yesterday. Shortly thereafter, one of my teachers, Geshé A Trang, told me that his mother died in Tibet this morning.

The monks generally do not greet death with sadness or disbelief. Only one asked me what happened to my friend when I said someone close to me died. My teacher fought off tears when he told me that no one had died in his family for 30 years, but otherwise steeled himself. Others shake their heads for a moment, sometimes make a clicking tisk-tisk noise, and then go back as they were.

On the other hand, Bön has more than a millennium of experience dealing with death. The rituals are elaborate and their philosophy is profound. The monks will do special prayers and make special offerings for our San Francisco friend every Friday for the 49 days that they believe he will be in the bardo. (I will be posting pictures and video from this later.) My teacher will recite prayers for his mother all day every day for 49 days, starting on Saturday.

My teacher can’t be with his family because they live in a Tibetan part of China. The Chinese government will not grant him entry or his family exit. He is trying to make arrangements to get a special visa to see them in one year’s time. It is easy to frown upon political situations such as this from afar. It’s another thing entirely to see it from a place close to the border, watching it affect people you care about.

Below: Day 3 of monks performing a death ritual for the man who died in the village. The horn sounds are coming from conch shells being blown into by monks at either end.